Jakarta Upcoming Trends: Committing Suicide?

Right about 3 days ago, Jakarta had been shaken up with a terrible news about 2 people committing suicides by jumping from the 5th floor down to the ground. the first one was in one of the biggest mall in Jakarta, Grand Indonesia where a 20-something girl finally lost her life after fell down from the 5th floor and landed on an escalator railing right in front of Forever 21 store. This picture might spook you a little bit but this is the girl who had been suspected from the CCTV jumped with an intention to end up her life.

I'm sorry but did i make you guys wanna throw up? lol. please don't. By looking at the picture, can you call this a suicide? well i don't know, you know..if she wanted to jump then she could choose to land on the floor instead of landed on the escalator. the other one was a guy in a different location, Senayan City, it is also one of the greatest mall here in Jakarta. Can you believe it, it was only 5 to 6 hours time interval after the first incident.

Some sources gossiping around telling that both man and woman are a couple which their parents didn't allow them to be together. *yawn why people making up stories like it is now sounding like Romeo and Juliet? For joke, yes? but my condolence goes to both of their families. and THIS AFTERNOON, i've heard news about another suicide done by a man in a very different location. yes he also jumped from the top floors and it was in the infamous Mangga Dua Square. This is totally a different picture:

Is this a trend or what? but these incidents are really shocking us all! You know, we will be eventually die. But how? nobody knows it. Let God do the math or let God decide when but at this point, you gotta enjoy the process of living and being thankful to what ever God gives us.

So what do you think about it?

a.) so uncool.
b.) there must have been an alien invasion in relating to those incidents.
c.) its a trend.
d.) they gave up life because they know there will be another life out there.
e.) life is not fair.

tell me tell me what do you think, precious. :):):)

Post-Graduate

Being a fresh graduate means (at least) when you feel like you don't want to do/belong to any particular job, you'll spend most of your time at home. and trust me, you won't get any smarter.

But at least i'm being productive

Just like today.

Spend most of my time in front of a computer and playing games on www.games.co.id. its online games website where you can play for free.

dreaming about having a great bedroom as in the picture above,



dressing up this beautiful angel,



being girly and stuff...

Or even worst






Playing Butt Scan the whole time just to entertain yourself from a boredom.

Mercy, mercy me God.

I'm Showing My Feeling

I just threw all those glasses away.

Stepped on their sharp broken glass with my own feet til they bleed.

Then I screamed hard.

I kicked every door in my house as hard as I could.

As well as cried without none ever heard.

My last decision was dipping my entire head in a warm water, hoped that it would finish off my breath.


Which fortunately readers, those were only happened in my imagination.

So this is how it feels to be jealous, huh?

I hate this feeling. Whats spinning in my head right now is all about baad baad baaaad imagination.

including imagination of witnessing him making out with another girl during overtime. two of them. in their office.

Kill me now. :(:(:(:(


ps. what should i do to get rid of this feeling? :'(

The Book Of Hopes

I spent this Monday to clear the whole things up in my room. From books, clothes, displays and many things that were too messy and didn't know where to put. I went for furniture shopping with my mom and my dad on Sunday and they bought me a set of bookshelves to fill up my room. Thank God now my books have been put in order and i can see no more scattered books around my bedroom. While me and my parents were organizing the books, i found a book that i used to write about intangible things i desire. I call it The Book of Hopes.

it consisted of my past wishes that some of them were actually happening. Alhamdulillah, i feel lucky. :):):)

well if you look at the picture, #30 out of 54 wishes was my wish to be always creating positive mind and #31 was a little bit embarrassing, used to be a big fan F-tze (F4 in the series of Meteor Garden) in which i adored the strong character of SanChai (please correct the name if i'm wrong) that i really wannabe like her. :P

another granted wishes such as:

• Wannabe able to drive a car (gosh, this book is too old)
• Having more confident in front of a guy
• New boyfriend after a year of hiatus. LOL. (not really)
  
• Remembering this motto in my whole life: Don't ever feel scare if you know you're gonna be suffer then you'll be strong (haha, i remember this in my whole life but if i read this again, this feels like the lamest motto ever.)

BUT from over 54 wishes, only one-third wishes that have been achieved, i should make my self more consistent on this one. like doing what to do to make those hopes happen, this time i feel like a rebel. period.

Anyhoo, i want you to take a look at this cute baby. my boyfriend sent me the picture of his nephew yesterday..his name is Zachary. He's 4 months old but already gifted with a strong bones because on that age, he can sit! he'll grow up strong.

Soooo adorable. cant wait to have mineee. i mean ours, yes hon?

p.s. Andhari's performance in SOULNATION 2009 was grreeeaatttt. two thumbs up girrll. the lounge where Ndeesaster's performin also the best stage compare to the other stages. so far my favorite performance in SOULNATION was her, Aditya and RUN DMC. :):)

Have great day, readers. :)

Disney Dah-Ling Demi Lovato

I should be ashamed of myself. I've been noticing Demi Lovato's look since 3 days ago.

Well, current Disney darlings these days aren't so much to be proud of. Some of their songs are even better to be the subject of mockeries. Jonas Brother..a bunch of dorks, compare to what Disney had before like Justin T. or Ryan Gossling. Miley effin Cyrus..dont compare her voice with Christina Aguilera.

All of these Disney darlings came from small towns and I'm sure their old style won't also be as good as their style right now.

So WHOEVER made Demi Lovato's style is a genius.

It starts from her hair. AH! look at how great this hair style.

And then these are all her major look. Super cute! (err..did i just say that?)

Apparently, she is the biggest fan of Jackets/Blazers/Coats etc.

Tempted to try her style?

Cockroaches That Rule My Neighbors

Look at how disgusting this creature. About a couple of days ago, there was an anti-dengue DDT (semprot nyamuk) around my neighborhood. What happened after that was a major shocked, that actually most of cockroaches that lived in my house tragically died. But they have to come outside from their hidings before really died. They were plenty! death-cockroaches were all over my backyard. the most shocking thing, all of the death cockroaches were also scattering around the street of my neighborhood just like cockroaches ocean. due to my nauseous feeling of what happened on that day, i didn't dare to capture the image of smeared cockroaches dead body. i puke instead.

I couldn't sleep everytime i think about that. yuck yuck yuck. They were making a secret kingdom here! were they trying to rule the world with their existence? you know that cockroaches are the oldest insects that live older than Dinosaurs and survive from extinction? they're strong!

ps. I just turned down my first shooting offer in a beauty product commercial. i have a big anxiety with myself, i'd be so weak looking at other pretty girls that will probably make fun of my appearance later on.

Hows your day so far, readers? :)

Forgot My P-P-Ants

This story happened when i was in the 11th grade. It was one of the most embarrassing moment in my life, even until now i have to be super aware every time i'm about to get out from the fitting room.

but anyway, i apologize for my unstable mood for constantly changing my blogger templates. there was something i'm not so fond of with my last blogger template and the current template suits my mood this time. the picture header definitely not describing my self as a (an) sailor/man/entertainment-world/sexy seducer, i just love it cos it looks so vintage and old fashion, not to mention its simplicity so i kinda love it.

Back to TMI Sunday. (and i'm just gonna make this real quick)

My weekend started when i wanted to spend time with my bestfriends in the mall. you know, when you are that labile, you dressed up like you're one of the fashion victims. you put on your greatest make-up so that boys in our age could whistle to us and ask us our numbers.

I messed up my drawer to find the cutest underwear i could mix up with my (tacky) outfit but most of my underwear had loosen up and muddied so i realized i gotta buy a bunch of underwear collections to replace the old ones.

I asked my mom for her acquaintance so we went to the SxxO store to find a fit underwear i could wear daily. First, we went to the Bra area, i remember my mom took off one of bras from its hanger and fit it in on my chest. I said mom can we just go to the fitting room to try this bra on without you have to embarrass me in public? i can see many people were staring at me. then my mom also took a bunch of panties for me to try on.

In front of the fitting room, my mom asked whether or not i wanted her to came inside. but i yelled no because trying up an underwear in the fitting room was quite disgusting, especially when the sales clerk was actually allowing me to TRY the underwear upon my mom's request (very rare).

"Just tell me when you are done trying." said my mom.

I dont know what was gotten into me but after all the bra fitting, i wore my tshirt and immediately put my jeans off, I dropped the underwear i was wearing and tried the new underwear that my mom brought me. i looked at myself in the mirror while my mom called "have you done?", i suddenly went off the fitting room to see my mom and told her that this underwear was cute, it was fit in me and how much i want it...

But mommy just couldn't say anything, her mouth opened wide then she told me "...kak, I think you should go inside and put on some pants..."

It was like my heart was beaten up with a hammer when i realized i went off the fitting room wearing only a tshirt and an underwear. the other people who waited me outside were also in shocked seeing me like that. some of them held their laugh (i knew). So i went back in, put my jeans on and bring the underwear to the cashier immediately.

On my way back home, my mom scolded for my sloppiness but then she burst into laugh when she reminisced the accident. I knew i was ashamed enough with the accident especially when she told my dad and my sister, they kept laughing and i couldn't help myself to cry. they are meaaannnn and i knew i was stoopid.

Lesson Learns: Don't ever try a new underwear in the fitting room unless you got brain. :|

ps. please dont ask me what type of underwear i was trying to wear on that day. :( it was faraway from sexiness.

The Scent Of Weekend = Melodious

I can't ever understand people who thought bad things about other people without really knowing who she/he is or what he/she does.

Some people thought i'm stupid, careless and inconsistent. I've been barked at, I got told I was lack of respect or even brainless. they keep talking behind my back and keep their distance from me because i refuse to explain. the more i became soundless the more the words becoming varier.

I don't think i was right either. they have that such thoughts because perhaps i am REALLY the one they've complained about. The moments where i made mistakes and impact all of them really put me at the lowest level of my life eventhough it looked like i dont care about it...sometimes i don't understand why i had been hit by many complexities in life. i wont blame anybody for this because maybe it is just me being misunderstood and people hate me for that.

Some people thought i'm nothing. yess nothing. I've been rejected for several times, I escaped from people's attention because i'm just invisible and being lack of humor. a bitch who doesn't know how to communicate, a girl who prefer not to talk and glum when things aren't in accordance with her will.

Who can you blame for this? none. i might be creating my self to be nothing. i have given such a nice environment to blend with other people but i might have missed it. people gotta know the real me, i'm originally a very good person to talk to...my dad can tell (as lame as it sounds), he's the closest person in my life. it's the environment that had became the real pressure.

Some people thought i'm a control freak. I analyzed things too much, i alienate things too much and forbid things from getting on my nerve. I don't understand the idea of peolple hating me for this. What's my reason to be a control freak when things that i belonged are just a complete NOTHING and even if i do a control freak, i guess i have rights to control what i want to control.

I'm typing this post not because i'm the 'angel' here nor the one who got tyranned, i make mistakes too. People need to be right and could think that other people are wrong because they know they are right or the other way around. What people have to do to understand others is that they should put themselves in others' shoes and understanding each other situations.

ps. i hope (again) i don't sound like i pretend to teach you, my friends. :)

What Kind Of Girls Are You?

source: www.penelopebat.com

You have came across of knowing many types of women in your life. Girls are different with each other because they come with different shapes. Here i have to admit that i'm a woman observer, ew! no! not in a lesbo way, you know, just to see them and making sure that they are no different physically but not to compare. For me there's no such thing as ugly women because they are pretty in their own way and ugly women are just the one who exposed themselves too much.

In my opinion there are types of girls that might as well be some kind of stereotypes for the guys out there. I dont know whether or not this is fit in with what guys think or is this just my thought, but let me rephrase it.

Type #1: Hippie Chicks
This type of girls love mother nature. they're an ingenious vegan, love to get stoned and always have a deep talk and oh, they kind of thought that being high is always better than having sex. This kind of girls are pretty much rare here in Indonesia.

Type #2: Uptown Girls
Insanely rich but NOT down to earth at all. a self-indulgent grown up like everything she has is always better than you and she makes sure you have to know it. You know, she always needs to be the center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes.

source: www.cartoonstock.com

Type #3: Gold Diggers
I think this type of girls are the one who always expect men to finance their lives just because biologically they're female. You can see her being nice at the beginning but no matter how much a guy gives her many things, she always wants more.

Type #4: The Girl Next Door
Well, this is probably one of the guys favorite... cute, means nothing but the best for everyone, lovers her family, not into drama and very dateable.

Type #5: Insecure Girls
Watch it out, i guess many girls have same commons with this type of girls. I too believe in myself i'm pretty close to this type. Very nice and treat men very well but sometimes suffers by frustration. She has to think twice about what to do, what to wear, WHERE TO GO and WHAT TO EAT. and, she needs constant reassurance that she's attractive and just not really believing in herself.

Type #6: Progressive Girls
She talks smart and everything she has to say is insightful. She always wants to try new things and doesn't like guys who say whatever they wants to hear. please bear in mind that this type of girl has a very strong opinion on something that guys who want to be with her have to have a good sense of arguments too.

Type #7: The Flirty Ones
She flirts with anybody and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunities. She would do anything to get the guys she wants with her big power of attractions. I hate this kind of type of girl--a total bitch.

Type #8: Career Girls
I think this is the type of a girl that will make guys miserable for the rest of their life. narcissistic, very ambitious, feminist and has a need to defeat a man.

source: http://mamasarollingstone.com

Type #9: Athletic Girls
She usually looks gaunt from excessive exercise and conditioning, eats food that is meant to control her body conditions and probably has motivational posters posted all over her house. She's very motivated to get something in her life and to be succeeded thats why she meant to set some kind of 'programs' in her life.

Type #10: Childish Girls
This type of girl sees things in life hurtful. a guy friend of mine once said to avoid this kind of girl because if a guy is dating one he will have to spend all the time apologizing even if he didn't make any mistake. I dont believe many theories that say if a guy dating a childish girl for a long time and suddenly wants to break-up, this girl will attempt to do a suicide. really? does it have to be that extreme?

Feel kinda related with those? I own more than one types from what have mentioned above. Those types that will more likely be a guy stereotype but what they don't know, girls own more than just one type. I dont know what drive me to blog about this stuff. its just i've seen many different girls lately... many of them i envy and many of them i said i'm glad i wasn't like them.

Or i'm just a creepy person who likes to lurk around and making opinion about girls like i dont have another life. whatever. I'm an observer.

Performance And Social Equivalent

Warning: this blog post will be less interesting for you to read about. for you who love fun stories as well as avoid being too serious, you may skip to my previous post if you feel like you won't like this. :)

So you know that Ramadhan has gone and Muslim people all over the world are celebrating Raya including Indonesians. We take part as a homebound traveler, in case we're living far away from our folks, to visit them during the Raya as well as maintaining a good relationship between most of our relatives. as you know, my heritage is all in Makassar, so i go back there and here i am.

This year Eid festivity in my hometown is very very different with the previous years. Okay, there are too many sadness this time yet too many happiness. there are too many family drama but I'll tell you the whole sharp story later. I was just coming back from my family's visit in a hinterland just when my dad, during on our way back home, decided to visit a self-supporting village with its own agriculture development. too many words were told and one thing that occupies myself is all about my country's social equivalent.

There was this Japanese girl who live there for almost 2 years. she stays there to help the farmer on that village to develop many agricultural innovations. she invented lets say a pesticide with a simple and cheap materials, and it can produce lotsa money if our Indonesian farmers start making one. When a very smart Japanese girl like her entrust her knowledge to help small people in a poor village, her mission is to make our people having the same knowledge with the rest of farmers in developed countries.

I don't have to mention his name nor his position in our eyes as a nation. this man comes from a big suburb in my hometown. he was running for one the greatest position in this country. And this old lady lives in a suburb where he came. she once said "our family did not vote for him and the other candidate. look at this village. the road is damage, but he doesnt take any single initiative to fix the road. this is the place where he came from and he should just tell our regent to fix this road. he did something for the place where he's not coming from, he built a megastructure in the city but not here."

Dad said that he just won an award for being successful to create a free corruption environment. the good thing is that, yay! our small people are free from corruption and their performances are getting better. the bad thing, my dad's subordinates don't receive any single THR or bonus received near holidays because they believe that THR or that sorta bonus is the part of receiving another 'bribe'. hey! be patient people, we are freeee from corruption. thats our reward for our performance. here they are, small people that is cleary needs a certain bonus to support their living especially during this hard times while many executives in a big town receiving billion rupiahs total bonus after their successful performance at the end of the year, they might be receiving double bonus this time.

Where's the social equivalent?

You dont invade our small people rights to receive a bonus just because you wanna picture a free corruption environment. Never.

Indonesia in the eyes of the world increase in performance. High quality government with all well educated ministers and all great CEOs. but when it comes to dealing with the masses, they are failed. don't you think that small people are the only people who receive the disadvantages from all these games? I never reject the idea of capitalist, liberalization or whatever their terms are, what our modern leaders are trying to do now is that they are trying to fix our macro economical so that the rest of the world can raise us again from the surface and they put micro in the later step. but until when this gap will be filled? i feel sad.

thoughts?